Poem - I Wish I was a Star

Photo by Felix Mittermeier from Pexels

Have you ever been so troubled by life's problems that you wished you weren't a human but something else? 

If so, then welcome to the club! We've all been there. Sometimes life shoves our face in the mud so hard that a lot of the time, we want to be something else or we just want to stop existing for a while. We've all had days, weeks, months, or even years like that, and it can get very challenging at times. I've had such a day or two many a time in my life and the poem in this blog post reflects my desire to be something else other than human. 

A few weeks ago, I had a quarrel with a very close friend of mine, and it was deeply painful for me. If you know anything about the Myers-Briggs personality tests, my personality type is INFJ. One of the traits of INFJ is that they avoid conflicts as much as they can because it can get super draining even having a small argument with someone. INFJs are often also artists so, as an artist myself, I usually vent my negative feelings by writing poetry; it's catharsis for me, and it really helps my mood get better. 

So this is the venting poem I wrote which you can read below:

STELLA

Oh that I were a star in the night sky

To have no purpose but one:

That is to shine for the delight of God!

Oh, Lord!

Being human is far too painful

Far too heart-rending. 

Pleasing man, being under sin's burdensome yoke is drudgery. 

What beauty is the life of a man in comparison to the star? 

For the stars serve Thee better 

Shine brighter and are more radiant 

And yet man is the crown of creation! 

My Lord, I feel no joy in being human. 

I wish I was a star

Part of a whole, lovely constellation; 

A delightful vocation 

Where I have nobody to please but Thee

And nobody to die for but Thee.

-platinum

If you know anything about me, I have a huge love for stars. My family lives in the countryside so every summer and winter at night, the cot that we own goes outside in the front yard. The nights are usually clear and if all the lights are switched off, the stars in our local heavens can be seen in their vast array, shining and shimmering.

It was at night that I had an argument with my close friend. Since the night was cool and cloudless, I laid down on the cot and gazed at the stars. The atmosphere was comforting and seeing how beautiful the glittering hosts were, I was compelled to write this poem. 

As of late, my spiritual life is being reflected in my poetry. In the past, my poems would have little to no mention of God. My poem writing machine (my brain) hasn't been writing poetry often, but when I do, there's almost always the mention of God. It almost feels like I've moved from the sensualities of the Romantic age and moved on to be aware of need for morality and righteousness as was seen in the Puritan age (in case you didn't notice, my college major is English Literature). Having an experience with God has definitely changed the way I view things and it can be seen in this poem. 

When I wrote this, I thought of conflicts I've had in the past with many people and when you really think about it, dealing with other people is really annoying! So annoying to the fact that you might not even want to be a human! There can be misunderstandings that cause conflicts and things can get really messy at times. 

Interacting with God seemed to be a lot better than having any interaction with other fellow humans. However, it leads to the realisation that we are human just like the other people we fight. There are annoying things about us and about others as well. Serving God isn't just enough, because we also should remember to serve our fellow beings no matter how annoying they may be or how many times we argue with them. We have to make things right, forgive and forget faults, and always live in peace with others. 

Only then we can be a real star, shining for God's glory!

We also may not know what good lessons can be learned from these experiences. Let us make good use of it! 

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